


Dear John & the Deer Stalker

by queen221B (FabFandomista)



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - School, Christmas, Gen, Gift Exchange, Humor, Kid Fic, Kidlock, Letters, M/M, New Year's Eve, Schoolboys, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2836808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabFandomista/pseuds/queen221B
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern day Sherlock and John are assigned as pen pals through their secondary schools.  A friendship begins and grows through curiosity, humor and support.<br/>(formerly titled Letters Across Britain)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letters Across Britain

Written for the [exchangelock](http://exchangelock.tumblr.com/) Holiday Gift Exchange for [homeiswheremybooksare](http://homeiswheremybooksare.tumblr.com/). She gave me a pen pal prompt and I decided to make it modern day with the boys being around the same age (11-12). The schools the boys go to are real, but only used for fictional purposes. Many, many thanks go to [holesinthesky](http://archiveofourown.org/users/holesinthesky) for her britpick/beta skills and kindness to a first timer. 

 

 

 

12th September, 2014

To the parents/guardians of: **John Watson, Year 8**

 

We are excited to tell you about a new activity your child will be involved in this Autumn term.  It is called Letters Across Britain.  The goal of this activity is for students to communicate using the traditional method of letters.  Although technology has afforded us more convenient methods of communication, we believe having our students practice writing the traditional way will be educational and enjoyable.

Schools from all over the country are participating in this project, including many independent and private schools.  Every student will be matched with another in the same year, from a different school.  

We hope you will encourage your child to appreciate and enjoy this programme.  However, there are a few rules which must be followed:

  1. Each participant must write a minimum of 5 letters to their assigned writing partner by November 30th.

  2. Teachers will check for proper formatting of letters.  The content will not be reviewed, in an effort to encourage the students to write more freely.  However, no violent or crude language will be tolerated.

  3. Students may not contact each other via any other methods including e-mail, text, social media, etc.




Upon completion of the required 5 letters, students may choose to continue communicating using any method their parents/guardians approve of.

Thank you for your cooperation in this exciting endeavour.  We look forward to hearing what our students learn through this process and seeing new friendships form.

Sincerely,

_Richard Cartwright_

Richard Cartwright

Head Teacher

************************************

John Watson

Year 8

King Edward VI Grammar School

Broomfield Road, Chelmsford

Essex CM1 3SX

16th September, 2014

Dear Sherlock,

I’m supposed to write to you as part of Letters Across Britain.  I’m not really sure what to say, but my teacher gave us a list of ideas to start with, so I will use that.  I live with my Dad, Mum and older sister, Harry, who is 16 and always gets into trouble.  I don’t have any pets.  My favourite sport is rugby and I am a scrum-half with the Year 8 team at my school.  I also really like to watch football and I’m a big Chelsea fan.  I play the clarinet in the senior orchestra.  My favourite subject is Science.  I don’t mind Maths, but I hate History and Religion.  The list says to tell you about something exciting that happened during summer break, but nothing exciting ever happens to me.  

I suppose it’s your turn to write now.  Maybe you can tell me some of the same things I told you, about your favourite things.

Kindest Regards,

_John Watson_   

 

Sherlock Holmes

Year 8

Summer Fields

Mayfield Road, Oxford

OX2 7EN

22nd September, 2014

John,

Participation in this ridiculous program is mandatory, so obviously I received your letter and must now respond.  My teacher said we should talk about what we find interesting.  I am quite certain what I find interesting would confuse, bore and/or shock you.  Therefore, I will do as you suggested and provide the same information you did.  I live at this god-forsaken school in Mayfield Lodge with 23 idiotic, cruel, hormone-fueled imbeciles.  My parents are in London and I have an older brother, Mycroft who is in his first year at Cambridge.  Unlike your sister, Mycroft does not get into trouble, but delights in telling me to stop doing whatever it is I’m doing, to be quiet and to eat something.  He eats enough for the both of us, especially sweets and cakes.  I used to have a dog, but he’s dead.  I loathe team sports, as they require me to interact with my peers and give them additional opportunity to torture me.  I take great interest in martial arts, particularly the defensive aspects.  Since they have no courses at this school, I am practicing on my own until I can get back to London and further my skill set.  I suppose my favourite subject is also Science, although I have learned more about the subject from my own study and experiments than the school could teach me.  The lab is state of the art and the only part of the school I enjoy.    

The most exciting event over my summer holiday was when I discovered the remains of a recently deceased doe in the woods behind my Grandfather’s country home.  Although I have experience dissecting animals of all sorts, this one was pregnant at the time of her death which was a very interesting discovery.  I was able to determine the fawn would have been a male and the doe was killed approximately 3 days prior by blunt force trauma to the head.  I became quite frustrated that I could not determine exactly what the blunt trauma was, but my Grandfather found me in the shed whilst I was working and forced me back to the house.  He informed me it wasn’t “natural” to find that sort of thing interesting and that he worries for my future.  I ensured him I am not a budding serial killer and that I had not killed the doe or any other small animals.  He was not appeased by my explanation.

Sincerely,

_Sherlock Holmes_

 

John Watson

Year 8

King Edward VI Grammar School

Broomfield Road, Chelmsford

Essex CM1 3SX

26th September, 2014

Dear Sherlock,

I wasn’t really excited about this program before, but your letter has me asking so many questions I had to write back straight away.  My letters will surely seem boring compared to yours.  It seems as if you really don’t like your school and the other kids sound kind of mean.  I’m sorry you have to put up with that, it must suck.  My school is alright, the teachers are pretty nice and I get along with most of the other kids.  It’s okay that you don’t like sports all that much.  The martial arts sounds pretty fun, though, maybe I will ask my parents if I can take a course sometime.  

I really have to ask you some questions now.  I hope you will answer at least a few of them.  Why do you think what you find interesting would “confuse, bore and/or shock” me?  It’s obvious you’re really smart, so that probably explains the confusing part.  I’m thinking the dissecting animals is the part that would shock me?  It is a little odd, but I don’t think it means you’re scary or anything.  You were probably just bored at your Grandfather’s house and looking for something to do or maybe trying to get away from Mycroft?  Speaking of which, why would Mycroft tell you to eat something?  Is he trying to make you fat like him, ha ha.  In fact, I’ve never “talked” with someone like you before but it’s really interesting.

I don’t really have anything all that interesting to say, I’ve got a match on Saturday after next and we’ve been practicing really hard for that, but I won’t bore you anymore with sports talk.  I am looking forward to receiving answers to some of my questions.  I don’t mean to be rude, I am really curious about you.

Kindest Regards,

_John Watson_

 

Sherlock Holmes

Year 8

Summer Fields

Mayfield Road, Oxford

OX2 7EN

 

30th September, 2014

John,

I must admit I was quite surprised by your response to my letter, pleasantly so.  Most people do not want further explanation of my interests and in fact, avoid asking me questions.  I will attempt to provide answers to your queries.  One of my interests that “normal” people usually dislike is when I observe things about them.  For example, I can tell by the slant of your handwriting that you are left hand dominant.  A review of your first letter also shows momentary increases in pressure during stroke movement, which indicates hesitation or uncertainty.  The stroke is noticeably steadier in your second letter, showing you had grown more comfortable.  I am quite certain you are smaller in stature than most of the boys in your year.  Your immediate interest in martial arts, which is known to be effective in defending oneself despite size as well as your position on the rugby team indicate this.  That is how I observe things and deduce information from said observations.  

You are correct in your theory that I was bored at my Grandfather’s house when I went in the woods.  I hate being bored, but it seems I cannot get away from it.  With regards to Mycroft, he says I am too “skinny” and that is why he encourages me to eat.  I do not eat nearly so often as him, but very few do.  Digestion tends to slow my brain down, so I avoid eating when working on a difficult experiment/project.

Perhaps I should ask you some questions in return.  In your first letter, you said you like Science but what aspects in particular do you enjoy?  I enjoy chemistry most, but have also spent time learning anatomy of humans and other species (as evidenced by my doe experience).  The human body is a puzzle in and of itself and although I am not amazed by many things, it is a wonder how everything works in synchronisation.  One of the ways I combat boredom is with my experiments, which quite often involve chemistry or study of biological matter.  The head of the Science department, Mr. Lestrade, seems to understand the importance of my experiments and allows me access to the labs outside of normal hours.  He is quite upset with me at the moment because one of my experiments caused a small explosion.   He didn’t seem to listen when I told him no students were harmed and no real damage was done, but maybe that is likely because he couldn’t hear over the sound of his own shouting.  He will forgive me in time, I have always been able to convince him to let me back into the lab after past incidents.  

Although I don’t care for sports, I wish you success on Saturday.

Sincerely,

_Sherlock_

 

John Watson

Year 8

King Edward VI Grammar School

Broomfield Road, Chelmsford

Essex CM1 3SX

6th October, 2014

Dear Sherlock,

That was amazing, absolutely brilliant! You are spot on, I am left handed and I was a little nervous about writing at first but now I’m not.  Unfortunately, you’re also right about my “stature.”  I hate being short.  My Mum says I am just a “late bloomer.”  It’s bad enough having the piss taken out of me by my teammates, but then my Mum compares me to a flower!

I’m glad you decided to ask me some questions and hope you aren’t disappointed by my answers. Thank you for answering my letters pretty quickly.  Some of the other kids are still waiting for a first reply.  I think having to write the “traditional” way and waiting for the post is just daft.  Why not use email when it is so much faster? Too bad we don’t have Hedwig : )

I have to go now, I’ve practice for our match on Saturday.  We’ve won our first two matches, so our season is starting out well.  We have a team tradition of going out for ice cream after a win and that makes winning even sweeter (ha ha).  Do you even eat ice cream?  You said you don’t eat when you’re busy but everybody likes ice cream, right?  

Kindest Regards,

_John Watson_

 

Sherlock Holmes

Year 8

Summer Fields

Mayfield Road, Oxford

OX2 7EN

10th October, 2014

John,

I am glad you thought my deductions were “amazing.”  People usually tell me to piss off because they don’t want to hear the truth about themselves.  While you may dislike being of short stature, I am taller than most of my peers and quite thin (even though I eat ice cream and other sweets on occasion).  My body hasn’t yet caught up with my height and this also has it’s disadvantages.  

Your Mum’s reassurances are well-founded, as there are advantages to being a late bloomer.  Just like with flowers, early bloomers often get the most attention because they are the first to show life and potential.  However, they are also the first to peak and then wither away.  The late blooming plant bides its time, waiting for the others to have their time in the sun (literally).  Just as the garden is looking bleak, they bring new colours and life.  While early bloomers are often delicate and require much attention to thrive, late bloomers tend to be hearty and strong.  I will stop with the flower analogy now, but from what I have observed it seems to be an accurate comparison to human development.

I also appreciate your quick responses as I am not a patient person.  I prefer to text, but email is much more efficient than the “traditional” methods.  I’m not familiar with Hedwig, so I googled it/him/her and the first results were all for some sort of play with a drag queen and lots of glittery make-up.  I sincerely doubt this is what you were referring to, but I closed out the page before I could scroll down further, as others were walking behind me and I can only imagine the comments if they saw me looking at drag queens.  Our half term break begins on the 17th, so there will be a delay in my responding to your letter.

Sincerely,

_Sherlock_

 

John Watson

Year 8

King Edward VI Grammar School

Broomfield Road, Chelmsford

Essex CM1 3SX

16th October, 2014

Dear Sherlock,

You won’t get this in the post until after you’ve been home for the break.  Do you like being a boarder?  I don’t think I would like it very much.  I get along with the other kids but I wouldn’t want to be around them all the time.  I would really miss my Mum’s cooking, too.  How long until you can go home again?  Was Mycroft home too?  Did you find any more dead animals?  

Speaking of animals, Hedwig is the owl from Harry Potter.  I thought all kids knew about Harry Potter, but I suppose not.  Hedwig can carry messages so that’s why I said it would be nice to have one of my own.  My Dad won’t even let us get a cat or dog, so an owl would definitely not be on.  I hope googling Hedwig didn’t cause you any trouble with the other boys, who sound like pricks by the way.  I had never heard of the other Hedwig, so I googled it and I’m glad you knew right away that wasn’t what I was talking about.  Harry saw the pictures on the screen and started asking what I was looking at.  She didn’t know about the show, either, but thought it looked fun.  I told her she would have to find someone else to go with.

My half term begins on the 27th, but hopefully I will get a letter from you before then.

Kindest Regards,

_John_

 

Sherlock Holmes

Year 8

Summer Fields

Mayfield Road, Oxford

OX2 7EN

28th October, 2014

John,

It seems our breaks have overlapped in a most inconvenient way, as yours began just as mine ended.  Nevertheless, you should get this as soon as you return.  My break was boring, but most days are no matter where I am.  I enjoyed being in the city versus the quiet and stillness of the countryside.  I hate being a boarder and wish my parents would have just let me continue with private tutors.  However, they insisted I must go to Summer Fields if I wished to pursue study at a desirable university.  I was able to obtain a private room, as my initial roommate did not appreciate the hours I keep and balked at my experiments.  As I was in London for the break, I did not come across dead animals. I was able to obtain chemicals and supplies for my experiments back at school. I have many contacts in the city that can get me the higher grade chemicals I need for my experiments, so I have to obtain these during my short visits home. My father had several colleagues over and I was able to obtain tobacco ash afterwards. I am in the process of analysing as many types of tobacco ash as possible and this little gathering provided me with four new samples. Altogether, the trip was not entirely unfruitful and should help keep me busy for the next couple of weeks.

We have a few American boarders this term and this has resulted in even more Halloween ridiculousness than usual. The origins of the holiday date back to the Celtics recognising the end of harvest and beginning of winter, which they associated with human death. They believed that on this night, the boundaries between the living and the dead became blurred. They celebrated the return of ghosts to the earth with bonfires, making sacrifices to their deities, wearing animal heads and skins and telling each other’s fortunes. My fellow students have turned this holiday steeped in tradition into a week of pranks and trying to scare each other with ridiculous masks. They seem quite disappointed that I have not fallen prey to any of their hijinks thus far, but the masks are not scary and as disguises go and are terrible imitations with no forethought or effort put in.

Sincerely,

_Sherlock_

 

John Watson

Year 8

King Edward VI Grammar School

Broomfield Road, Chelmsford

Essex CM1 3SX

3rd November, 2014

Dear Sherlock,

I always learn something new from your letters. I never knew where Halloween really started from. It’s funny how it got turned into silly costumes and asking for sweets. I’m glad it did, because I’m pretty sure trick or treating is way more fun than chanting around a bonfire wearing animals heads and waiting for ghosts. The school had an Autumn disco on Friday and it was okay. The teachers said it was a chance for us to “socialise” with students we don’t usually talk with. But the boys stayed on one side and the girls stayed on the other, so not much dancing happened. I know most of the boys from the different sports teams and I didn’t want to ask a girl to dance since no one else was really dancing. Towards the end, some of the girls started dancing together but blokes can’t get away with that sort of thing. I had to wear a suit and tie for this dance and I hate dressing up. Why do you want to know so much about tobacco? I know you really like experimenting on things, but I’m trying to figure what the tobacco ash would show you. My Dad smokes cigars sometimes, I’ll check and see what kind and if it’s one you don’t have I can send you a sample. This is my fifth letter, so it’s the end of the assignment, but I would like to keep writing you if that’s alright. My email is jwnumber9@gmail.com.

Your friend,

_John_

Sherlock Holmes

Year 8

Summer Fields

Mayfield Road, Oxford

OX2 7EN

7th November, 2014

John,

I am writing this letter solely to fulfill my obligation of writing 5 letters. As I now have your email address, I will use that to contact you in the future. In fact, by the time you read this I will have already sent you an email. Feel free to ignore the rest of the letter, my teacher said it was too short so the rest is filler.

Forensic scientists can retrieve enough saliva from a postage stamp to identify the person that licked the stamp. Saliva leaves a DNA fingerprint revealing who you are and the wealth of information contained in saliva makes it a promising alternative to blood as a source of DNA for genetic testing. Researchers from State University of New York at Buffalo were able to detect person-to-person differences of as little as a single nucleotide, or structural unit, in the genes. Saliva has other obvious advantages over blood: it is easy to collect, store, and post. The technology that allows tiny amounts of salivary DNA to be examined in such detail is a procedure called polymerase chain reaction, or PCR. PCR can be used to replicate small pieces of DNA a billionfold, and with such accuracy that minor differences in gene structure are readily distinguishable in laboratory tests. The method is so sensitive that one millilitre of saliva yields enough DNA to do over one hundred separate tests. Today, the PCR analysis of DNA from the saliva deposited on a stamp of an anonymous letter can lead to an identification.

In conclusion, if you are a criminal, don’t lick your stamps.

Sincerely,

_Sherlock_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saliva information sources  
> http://www.biotechnologyforums.com/thread-1468.html  
> http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0379073895018727  
> http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/1997-10/NIoD-SYSI-211097.php
> 
> The origins of Halloween differ depending on who you ask, but what Sherlock describes is a widely held theory for many historians. http://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween


	2. You've got mail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't see the images, click on the {X}

Many, many thanks go to [holesinthesky](http://archiveofourown.org/users/holesinthesky/pseuds/holesinthesky) for her britpick/beta skills and kindness to a first timer.

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**7/11/2014 6:39 pm**

The inane requirement for traditional letter writing is over, so I suppose we would not find “Hedwig” useful any longer. The Autumn disco sounds horrid. My school also has dances with a sister school, so the hormone-ravaged boys will have something to look at that is three dimensional for once. As the dances are not mandatory, I do not attend. I am curious as to why the aversion to dressing up? I appreciate the appearance of a well-made suit, as it gives the wearer an air of confidence and self-assuredness.

Each cigarette, cigar or type of loose tobacco is made from a unique blend. Once the ingredients of each blend are determined, it can be used to identify a suspect. For example, I read about a case where all of the players at a high stakes poker table had been shot except one. The lone survivor became the obvious suspect but his identity was unknown. The article noted that the players had been smoking expensive cigars. If I was able to determine the type of cigar smoked by the suspect, I could then locate where that type was sold. Tobacconists at high end cigar shops often maintain a list of clients and sales in order to contact frequent buyers when a new product comes in that may interest them. If the seller had a list of who had purchased this type of cigar, the suspect list could be narrowed down substantially.

Email has its uses, but text is preferable. My number is 07937 614221.

SH

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**9/11/2014 5:49 pm**

I don’t have a mobile, so I can’t text. Harry has one and I don’t think it’s fair, but my parents say it’s because she’s older and a girl. Harry could beat the snot out of most guys, so I don’t think she needs a mobile for safety unless she would use it to beat someone about the head.

We only have one laptop to share amongst our family, so if you don’t get a quick response it’s probably because somebody else is hogging the computer. Harry uses it for “homework” (bollocks), Dad uses it for online gambling and Mum is really into Pinterest. I don’t know what that is, but now she keeps trying to make arts and crafts of all sorts and different recipes that never seem to work out quite right. Just having the one computer is annoying, because when I really do need to use it for school I have to wait for them to finish.

We lost our match against Brentwood yesterday. Some of their players were huge, I don’t see how they are the same age as us. Perhaps I am just bitter about the loss, but we have another match next weekend so I can’t let it bring me down. Ok, no more sports chat, sorry about that. You got anything on this week?

John

P.S. I’m glad we’re done with writing letters because now I’m paranoid about licking stamps.

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**10/11/2014 2:43 am**

I would die of boredom without constant access to my mobile and computer. I honestly don’t know how you do it. Email will have to suffice until your parents finally come round and let you have a phone.

I will forgive your “sports chat”, since it was brief. It sounds as if age testing may be in order to ensure the opposing players are eligible for your league. We have a mandatory Remembrance Day ceremony tomorrow. I suppose it is not the worst of the many ceremonies we must attend. I have a short leave this weekend, so I will be going to London.

SH

P.S. You should only be worried about licking stamps if you plan on engaging in criminal activities.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**12/11/2014 7:24 PM**

Ha, ha, age testing sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe they were held back a year a couple of times and that’s why they’re mammoth (and a couple of them were quite wooly, too).

I usually like the Remembrance Day ceremony since several of my family members have served and a few died in the world wars. My Dad is always making little comments to me about continuing the family legacy. It’s a bit early to be making career choices, if you ask me (which he doesn’t). Anyway, our ceremony is held outside and the CCF cadets do their parade and a poppy is laid down for every KEGS alum that has died in service. During the ceremony, my eyes started itching and welling up with tears. The other boys were giggling because they thought I was crying and the teacher was very angry with us for not taking it seriously. She wanted to console me and I was trying to tell her I thought I was allergic to the poppies, but she just shushed me. It was so embarrassing, everybody thinking I’m bawling, my eyes getting all red and puffy and the teacher patting my shoulder. The other boys kept making sniffing noises and whispering “weepy Watson” in my ear. I held on until after the ceremony and finally explained to the teacher what was going on so I could go and see the nurse. The nurse gave me some medicine and sent me home. It made me really drowsy, but when I woke up I looked pretty normal again. I hope I don’t have to go through this every year and I really hope the nickname doesn’t stick!

John  

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**16/11/2014 9:58 PM**

It is common to develop new allergies as we age. Yours is a most inconvenient one, but if you take an antihistamine beforehand next year you should be fine. Your “weepy Watson” incident made me think of a new experiment. I want to determine the levels of pollen in different boroughs of London during peak season. Could be interesting and useful should a victim have pollen on their clothing.

I was supposed to go home for the weekend, but my parents decided at the last minute that I should go to my Grandfather’s country house instead. They refused to provide an explanation and the situation is very frustrating but intriguing. Since I could not see them, I could not observe and attempt to deduce what is going on. My grandparents refuse to install broadband and mobile coverage is virtually nonexistent there. It’s Sunday evening and I’m back at school now, bracing myself for another week of nonsense.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**19/11/2014 7:48 PM**

You’re completely right, the Doctor also said that taking anti-whatevers before would help. I never thought about solving a crime using pollen on people’s clothes, that is brilliant.

That’s really odd about your parents not letting you come home. Did you get in trouble at school or anything? It seems like you don’t mind going to your grandparent’s house, so that’s good. Maybe you can talk them into getting internet soon. My grandparents are pretty nice, but it always smell sort of funny and they watch these black and white telly shows that they think are funny, but I don’t understand them at all. I do like seeing my Granddad cackle at the telly, so I watch him instead of the shows. Nothing all that exciting going on for me right now. Just the normal school stuff, some drama at the house with Harry and my parents, but that is happening a lot lately. It seems like once she turned 16, she just totally changed. Maybe it’s the hormones, ha ha.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**22/11/2014 1:21 am**

I have witnessed the power of hormones first hand among the other boys in my house. I plan to avoid this stage if at all possible, but am still working on a way to achieve this.

While I do tend to get reprimanded quite a bit at school, there had been no major incidents that would justify my parent’s odd behaviour. Not being able to determine the cause is driving me insane.

I have been contemplating the possible meaning of your email address handle. The “jw” part is obvious, but the number nine is not as apparent. I’ve come up with these possible meanings:

  * 9 is your favourite number divisible by 3. You don’t mind maths and maybe you were grasping at straws to come up with a name you could remember.


  * Your favourite tooth is #9. As one of your front teeth, this central incisor is vital to one’s appearance and is one of the more attractive teeth, if you had to pick a favourite.


  * You won 9th place in a contest and really, is this something to brag about?


  * You are the 9th chair clarinet. While highly unlikely that any orchestra would have this many clarinets, maybe your conductor has an unusual obsession with the instrument.  Perhaps he believes the clarinet is the finest of all instruments and one can never have enough of them. If this is correct, may I suggest more practice to get to a more desirable position?


  * Your surname is one of the oldest and most common in England/Scotland with no links to royalty. However, one of your family members decided long ago that your line would use generational suffixes to stand out amongst all the other Watson. So that would make you John, Son of Wat, John Watson IX.



If you have to be stuck with a family name, I think yours is much more desirable than, say, Sherlock or Mycroft. At least your given and surnames have strong meanings: “God is gracious” and “strong warrior.” Whereas, I am a “person with closely sheared hair” who “lives by an island in a fen or near a holly tree .”

I will now be contemplating ways to get back at my parents.

Lock of Sher

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**27/11/2014 7:09 am**

My Mum came into my room to see why I was laughing so loudly. It’s been a crap week and your email was brilliant. I hate to disappoint you, none of your possible meanings are right, but they are way more fun. My rugby shirt number is #9 because I’m the scrum-half.

Heading off to school now, sorry I took so long to get back to you. I was late to the match on Saturday because I overslept and my Dad was really pissed off about it, so he said no computer until today to give me to to think about how to be more responsible. Ugh.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**28/11/2014 3:38 am**

I must admit my knowledge (or lack thereof) regarding sports is rarely a deficit, but in this instance it would have been useful.

I actually made it home this weekend and as soon as I saw my mother, I knew why they hadn’t let me come home last time. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw Mycroft had come home for an unscheduled visit. There is nothing quite like a family meeting to signal a great weekend is ahead. My mother has breast cancer and was diagnosed the day I was to go home two weeks ago. She said she needed time to deal with the news before telling “her boys.” It was caught very early and she is working with some of the best oncologists in Europe. They believe a lumpectomy will be successful and will wait on the test results to determine if chemotherapy will be needed. As you can imagine, the rest of the weekend was strained with everyone else being obviously upset, but feigning happiness. I am not pleased by this news, but it is in the best circumstances possible that her cancer was found. I trust in science and do not choose to get overly emotional about it. I also do not choose to prance around with a pasted grin on my face as if everything is completely alright, either.

I sincerely hope your weekend was more enjoyable than mine.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**29/11/2014 1:28 PM**

Christ, Sherlock, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. It’s good that they found it early and it sounds like she has great doctors working on it. I would be a blubbering mess (yep, that’s me, ‘ol weepy Watson), but it sounds like you’re doing alright. I understanding getting annoyed at the fake happiness, my family does that, too, and it drives me bonkers. I guess it’s the whole “stiff upper lip” thing, but you aren’t going to be happy all the time, especially when some people in your family have problems.

I hope it’s okay, I told Harry about your mum. She did a 5k fundraiser for breast cancer back in October so that’s why I told her about it. One of her really good friend's mum is a breast cancer survivor, so they ran on her team. Harry says I can send you one of her t-shirts to help cheer you up. I’ll let you decide : )

{[X](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105921644009)}

 

 

I’ve got a really busy week with Model UN and a match so it might be awhile before I can reply.

John

 

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**29/11/2014 3:28 PM**

Ummmmmm, NO. While I’m sure Harry’s intentions were good, I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would ever wear either of these. Besides, I rarely wear t-shirts.

I do not understand the correlation between bees and breast cancer awareness. I have studied bees extensively, particularly the social species such as the honeybee. Many cultures view these insects with reverence and awe as they are organised, industrious and intelligent. Additionally, it is a matriarchal “society” with a Queen.

A queen and her daughters use wax from the wax glands on their abdomens to build a nest that lasts them for generations. If the hive becomes overcrowded, the workers, who are all female, will raise a new queen by feeding her royal jelly from a gland on their heads throughout her development. Honeybees tell their sisters how to find food, water, resin and new nest sites using dance. During each trip for food, each bee can carry half her weight in pollen or nectar.

I would like to think the shirt’s designer was using the bee as a representation of female empowerment, intelligence and strength. But it is far more likely they were looking for a cutesy tag line. How disappointing.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**6/12/2014 11:41 am**

Sorry it took so long for me to respond. We had Model UN this week and it was fun, but took a lot of prep work. I represented Canada and I think I did pretty well. I even threw in a couple of “yah’s and oot’s.” The other kids, I mean nations, laughed and I caught the moderator smirking.

I felt pretty bad after being late for our last match, so I got there extra early on Saturday. It was pissing rain and by the end, we all looked like a bunch of pigs taking a bath. It was worth it, because we won!

Next week is end of term testing, I’m ready to be done with it so the holiday can start!

So I guess you really like bees?

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**7/12/2014 1:22 AM**

Congratulations on your win. Our term ends Wednesday and I am very ready to go home. Everyone else is freaking out about tests and projects that are due. The tests are always ridiculously simple and the projects I have been working on have been enjoyable (for once). The only thing I’m worried about is that my ongoing experiments will survive without me here. Mr. Lestrade has promised to check in on them and says he will email me any important developments, but it is not the same.

I find bees endlessly fascinating and would love to have hives of my own someday.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**9/12/2014 8:42 PM**

It sounds like you need a nanny cam for your experiments, ha ha. Mr. Lestrade sounds like a good teacher and I’m sure he’ll watch over them for you.

You are lucky your term ends so early, is that a public school thing? Why am I not surprised you don’t stress about tests? It must be nice. I always study so I do fine on tests. This time around, I haven’t had as much time to study because of a group project where I seem to be the only one doing the work. It isn’t fair but I don’t want to be a tattle tale and complain to the teacher.

One of my favourite school days is coming up Friday. It’s Christmas Jumper Day and it’s always fun to see the crazy things everyone finds to wear. My mum found a great one for me this year at Oxfam. It’s red and green with cats and dogs wearing Father Christmas hats and little jingle bells sewn on it. I bet you _love_ wearing jumpers, right?

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**10/12/2014 4:27 PM**

Dear God, no. I have not and never plan to own any Christmas jumpers. Yours sounds horrid, why would you wear that in public? Maybe no one else has felt comfortable telling you this, but please John, don’t subject yourself or others to your Mum’s terrible fashion sense.

John, you are a genius! Why had I not thought of hidden cameras before? As soon as I read your email last night, I snuck out to the shops for several small webcams. As it was past lights out, I was able to break into the lab and install the cameras without issue. I then hacked into my school’s servers and configured a way for me to view a live feed from the lab. I just arrived home and the cameras are working perfectly. Well done, John!

My mother is scheduled for her surgery on Friday.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**11/12/2014 6:20 PM**

Hang on- you broke into the lab and hacked the servers? Are you mad? I’m glad you didn’t get caught and hopefully no one will find the cameras while you’re away. Your life is so much more exciting than mine. The Christmas jumpers are _supposed_ to be ridiculous and ugly, that’s what makes it fun! Guess what a certain genius is getting for Christmas this year?? The possibilities are endless..

{[X](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105924171084)}

You like deer, right?

I found it. The ultimate ugly Christmas jumper for Sherlock Holmes. It has candy canes, christmas trees, furry balls (ha ha) and… wait for it… a BEE. A **BEE** , Sherlock, a bee that lights up and has on a Christmas bowtie and is holding Christmas stockings! What more could you possibly want?

You really must take a look: <http://youtu.be/TwBh6-UGqlg>

Seriously, though, I will pray that your mum’s surgery goes well. Please let me know.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**12/12/2014 7:11 am**

I will graciously leave the ugly Christmas jumper wearing to you and yours. You have opened my eyes to a whole line of “fashion” I never knew existed and my eyes cannot unsee the horror. While I appreciate the sentiment of offering a gift, I really must insist you save your money for ~~less appalling~~ ~~less disturbing~~ gifts for your family.

I learned long ago how to break into the lab, as I am accomplished at picking locks of all sorts and Lestrade does a poor job of hiding the rotating lab entry codes. The security guards provide no actual security but wander around aimlessly smoking a fag and checking their mobiles. You don’t exactly have to be a ninja to get past them.

I am writing you from hell on earth, otherwise known as the surgical waiting area. It is packed with loud, idiotic people, many of whom need a bath. I still don’t understand why I had to come, but I was told it was “the proper thing to do.” I’m perfectly fine with not being proper, but I didn’t want to upset Mother, so here I am. Mycroft came home from school and is _almost_ as miserable as I am. I take small pleasures where I can.

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**12/12/2014 9:26 am**

Upon further inspection of the waiting area, I have determined it is a veritable playground for all types of bacteria. No one is using the antibacterial pumps and I have personally viewed numerous people spreading mucus and saliva on the chairs, tables and reading materials. Finally, something to be excited about! I am planning on getting as many samples as I can while I’m here, to later determine how many different strains are present. I will need swabs; I am just waiting for an opportunity to obtain some from the supply cupboard in the hall. I am now thankful for the constant flow of traffic, as there will be plenty of distractions while I slip in unnoticed. Wish me luck.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**13/12/2014 10:10 am**

How did your mum’s surgery turn out? I hope she is doing well. I thought about her yesterday during my courses.

Did you get your samples? Did you get caught with your hand in the ~~biscuit~~ swab jar? Ha ha. I hope you were successful in your “mission.” I finally turned in the group project, which I did almost completely by myself. I’m not bitter : ) Now I can concentrate on studying for end of term tests.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**13/12/2014 3:52 PM**

The surgery went very well, the surgeon said he feels confident the margins will come back clear. I don’t think it was very professional of him to say that prior to receiving the test results, but my father “convinced” him to give his opinion. Mother spent several hours in hospital recovering and they let her come home last night. My Gran has come up to be Mother’s nurse. Thank God, because Father, Mycroft and I are all lacking in empathy and patience.

Fabulous news! I was able to get 12 samples from the waiting area. The swab-napping was without incident, the only witness being a toddler with a dummy stuck permanently in his mouth. As I returned to the waiting room and went about discreetly obtaining the samples, Mycroft was watching me closely. I fully expected him to lecture me about proper behaviour or taking materials from the NHS. He left the room and came back with bags for me to put the swabs in. It is a good thing I was in hospital, because I felt I may go into a state of shock. He handed me the bags with one of his winks, which he thinks are cheeky but really look like something is in his eye. I took the bags without question and hurried to protect the samples before degradation or cross-contamination could occur.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**16/12/2014 7:45 PM**

Awwww, how sweet. Brotherly love. It sounds like Mycroft has his good moments. Maybe you should buy him his favourite pudding or something as a thanks. I’m really glad your mum is doing well.

I’ve been worrying about the tests and my head hurts from studying. I don’t know why I get so upset about it when I always do well. I think maybe it’s because Harry has been causing so many problems that I don’t want to give Mum and Dad something else to be upset over. Harry hasn’t done well this term and when she and my dad get into it there is no escaping their rows.

I’ll try to end by being less like the Grinch. What are you asking Father Christmas for this year? Have you been naughty or nice? Ha ha, I’m such a nerd. Pretty sure I know the answer to the second one, but I do love hearing about your adventures.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**17/12/2014 12:57 AM**

I am a scientist, John, I have no use for Father Christmas or his judgements regarding my behaviour throughout the year. I never believed in him and my parents used to think it was adorable when I tried to explain his very existence was illogical. I will humour you and your silly questions, which shows what a nice guy I am. Stop laughing! I can hear it all the way over here. “Nice” is not a word many people would use to describe me, I have been told I tend to “rub them up the wrong way.” I am asking for a microscope to use in my room at school. As this is the only request I made and I have made it repeatedly and loudly, I am hopeful I will find it under the tree. Good God, now you have me blathering on like an idiot, you are a bad influence on my sensibility.

It’s only been a week and the boredom is weighing heavily on my mind. Father and Mycroft have strongly urged me not to get up to my usual “hijinks”, since it would not do well for Mother to be stressed while she is recovering. The surgeon was right, Mother’s margins came back clear. They will do some more testing in 6 months.

Stop being ridiculous and worrying about school. It is obvious you are more intelligent than most of the other idiots.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**19/12/2014 5:48 PM**

“Most of the other idiots?” Gee, thanks. I think you meant that as a compliment and I will take it that way because….. the Holiday has now officially started!

I finished all my testing today and feel pretty good about all but the religion one. Never had much use for it, really and I find it boring (oh look, your favourite word).

 ~~Since you asked~~ I’ve asked for a mobile for Christmas. I keep making comments about how much I want a mobile, so I figure maybe they’ll get it just so I’ll shut up about it. I have to go shopping tomorrow, since I haven’t got anything for Dad, Mum or Harry. I don’t have much money, but I don’t want to make them something handmade like when I was little. I haven’t thought of any good ideas yet, so we’ll see what I find.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**20/12/2014 2:21 PM**

You were correct in accepting my statement as a compliment. Don’t be offended, almost everyone is an idiot.

I am now on the verge of becoming certifiably insane with boredom. The time for behaving myself has passed. I am currently working on a plan to escape because my parents are having a big party tonight. I despise being shown around to their friends like a show dog and being repeatedly subjected to the same tedious questions. I was hopeful the party would be cancelled this year because of Mother’s surgery, but she insisted and says she’ll let the caterer and planner handle everything. If I am unable to escape, there is one possible bright spot to the evening. Mycroft is bringing a date and I am incredibly curious what sort of person could possibly find my brother a desirable romantic partner.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**21/12/2014 10:54 am**

I’m not sure if I will be glad if you were able to sneak away from the party, because I want to hear about Mycroft’s date. I hope you weren’t too hard on her, it is Christmas after all.

My dad goes into London every Boxing Day to meet up with some old mates, play ruggers and have a few pints. I don’t think he remembers what a “few” pints looks like anymore. He takes the train up in the morning and then comes back the following afternoon, since he’ll be too pissed to come home any earlier. He said I could go with him this year if I wanted to get away from the girls and spend some time in the city. I don’t want to hang out with his friends, but I thought maybe we could finally meet? I would need to take the train back that evening, but would have most of the day free. It’s okay if you don’t want to, it was just an idea.

John

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**21/12/2014 8:14 pm**

Unfortunately, my father had suspected I may make an escape attempt and he kept me in his sight until the first guests started arriving. When Mother came down to greet everyone, she was excited to introduce me to her friends and colleagues. Never mind that I have met them all before, I did not correct her out of goodwill. Everyone made lots of comments about how much I’ve grown. What an obvious thing to say, it would be rather more interesting if I had shrunk.

I was able to keep myself entertained for the first part of the evening by deducing the guests. It is remarkable how many affairs are being had in the relatively small group. Surely at least some of them are aware, but they choose not to address it. A couple of the guests have business dealings with my father and I plan on telling him they lied to him. I wasn’t close enough to hear what was being said, but their body language was shouting “Liar!” Mycroft’s date was disappointingly ordinary. I was secretly hoping he had missed an obvious character flaw, not because I dislike her but because it would be nice for him to be wrong for once. However, she seemed genuine in her budding affection for him and was happy engaging in mindless chit chat with the other guests. I must stop before I become sick all over the keyboard.

My parents are away for the day, but I will ask about Boxing Day when they return.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**22/12/2014 8:10 PM**

So I guess your mum rang my mum about Boxing Day and it’s all set. Your mum suggested I spend the night so I wouldn’t have to take the train by myself at night and so we could have a “proper sleepover.” I hope the staying over part is alright with you, I think it could be fun. You better make sure you don’t fall asleep first!

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**22/12/2014 10:48 PM**

I don’t sleep as often as most people, it is doubtful I will fall asleep first. I don’t understand the significance of falling asleep first. I apologize if my mother overstepped, as I was unaware she planned on ringing your mum. When I asked about Boxing Day, Mother was extremely pleased and excited that I wanted to meet with a friend. She didn’t mention staying the night to me before asking your mum about it, but she seems to think a “boy’s night” could be great fun. How she would know about “boy’s night” is a question for another day. I’ve never had someone over before, I hope you will not be bored. I’m unsure as to what the usual activities are for such an occasion.

**To: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**From: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**24/12/2014 4:29 PM**

Don’t worry, I’m sure I won’t be bored. We don’t have to do anything in particular, usually you just watch movies, play games, talk, that sort of thing until everyone falls asleep. The first one to fall asleep usually gets pranked, but I'll give you a pass this time.  I’m looking forward to it, you can tell your mum it was a good idea.

The past couple of days have been busy with family dos. I offered to help Mum with the cooking since Harry won’t and Dad refuses to budge from the sofa. I just do things like peel potatoes and cut up veg, but she really seems to appreciate it. Mum says it’s good for everyone to learn how to cook and I don't mind.

We’re getting ready for our traditional Christmas Eve film night. I’m not usually one for traditions, but this one is brilliant. Each one of us picks a film and we put the names in a stocking, where two of them are chosen. Harry’s convinced it's rigged, because her movie hardly ever gets picked (thank god). We order pizza and have popcorn and nibbles. Dad stays sober (Mum insists on it) and everyone is in good spirits. This year, Dad picked Die Hard, I picked Elf, Mum picked Nativity and Harry picked Love, Actually. Die Hard and Nativity came out of the stocking and I like both of those. I could bring Elf when I come over, it’s my favorite Christmas film.

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**24/12/2014 8:00 pm**

I don’t watch many films, but you can bring yours if you’d like. Our Christmas Eve tradition is to attend midnight Mass, even though we’re not particularly religious. It seems this holiday season will never end, constant parties and events to attend and family members coming by with their inane chatter. I feigned illness to get out of going to Mass tonight and Mother didn’t protest. She’s so excited for your visit and said she wants me to be well and get plenty of rest. Of course, since I’m not actually ill, this won’t be necessary.

Tonight, a chubby man with a big belly will squeeze into the house and bring gifts. In other words, Mycroft is returning from his girlfriend’s house tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CCF= Combined Cadet Force
> 
> Dentists use a numbering system to identify teeth. #9 is your upper left front tooth.
> 
> *Bee shirt: http://www.zazzle.co.uk/breast_cancer_awareness_month_shirts-235466608869988418  
> *Save the tatas source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/503488433311289060/  
> *Bee info source http://animals.howstuffworks.com/insects/bee.htm  
> *Naughty deer jumper http://www.christmassweaters.ca/naughty-christmas-sweaters/


	3. Auld Lang Syne

Thanks again to [holesinthesky](http://archiveofourown.org/users/holesinthesky/pseuds/holesinthesky) for all your help!

**Christmas Day**

_Guess what?? 8:04 am_

_Sherlock?? 8:39 am_

Who is this  -SH  9:35 am

 _It’s John Watson, Happy Christmas!_ _ 9:42 am_

It seems Father Christmas granted your wish and brought you into the 21st century  -SH  9:45 am

 _Yes!! My own mobile!! I can’t believe it!!_ _ 9:52 am_

Are you alright?  I am concerned about your excessive use of exclamation marks.  If you are indeed that excitable, they make medication to help with that.  -SH  9:55 am

 _Piss off, Scrooge Sherlock!  I can’t help it, I’m really happy.  Did you get what you wanted?_ _ 10:01 am_

I got the microscope I wanted and Father even told me he got special permission from the headmaster to keep it in my room.  Something about it keeping me occupied…  -SH  10:04 am

 _That is great! Now you can do even better experiments in your room._ _ 10:12 am_

The school lab still has equipment I will need to utilise, but this will be much more convenient.  -SH  10:15 am

\-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

_Why do you sign your texts?  I know it’s you. 2:25 pm_

Why not?  -SH  2:27 pm

_Gotta go, Mum says I have to put the phone away while my cousins are here.  Guess I’m expected to “play” with them  -SoW 2:32 pm_

SoW? Has a cow taken over your newly acquired phone? -SH  2:35 pm

 _Bwahahaha!! Can you imagine with their big hooves, it would be a disaster!_ [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922144804)

_BTW, SoW- So_ _n_ _of Wat : ) 2:48 pm_

I see you have discovered emojis. -SH  2:53 pm

 _Yes!!!!!!!!!!_ [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922229894) _ Sorry, I know it’s annoying you, but I think they’re fun.  Though you’d at least like the last one.  3:01 pm_

Your definition of fun astounds me, John.  -SH  3:04 pm

**\-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -**

_Bollocks, Mum says I can’t be on the phone anymore tonight because I didn’t play with my cousins.  They’re 7 and 9 year old girls, for God’s sakes, what does she expect? 6:37 pm_

_I need to fully charge the battery anyway before tomorrow.  Super excited!! 6:40 pm_

Don’t make me change my mind  -SH   6:58 pm

John?  -SH   7:42 pm

I wasn’t serious.  -SH   9:02 pm

**Friday-Boxing Day**

_Glad you weren’t serious. Dad and I are on our way to the station now.  See you soon! 9:18 am_

**Saturday 27/12, after John returned home that morning**

_I’ve been trying to tell Mum and Dad about your “deductions”, but it’s not the same when I explain it.  I know I kept saying “Amazing”, but it really is! 7:56 pm_

I thought you would be tired of my observations after 4 hours.  -SH   8:02 pm

_Too bad it got dark early, because I could’ve watched you all day.  I was starting to get pretty hungry, though. 8:17 pm_

My Mother was pleased to have someone to cook for.  Mycroft and Father only like posh foods and she says I am a difficult person to cook for.  -SH   8:25 pm

_She’s a great cook.  I felt kind of bad having your mum cook, being that she’s been sick and all. 8:36 pm_

Her recovery has gone very smoothly and she was very happy to have you to our home.  She is already asking when you might come again.  -SH   8:44 pm

It was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn’t a parent or my dull brother.  -SH   8:52 pm

John?  -SH   9:38 pm

**Sunday 28/12**

John, are you there?  -SH   11:49 am

 **********To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

 **From:** **s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**28/12/2014   5:28 PM**

Perhaps your phone isn’t working properly.  I sent several texts without a response.

SH

**Monday 29/12**

Maybe you can no longer recognise English, so I will speak your language: [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922290984) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    -SH   9:25 am

Rough translation for anyone who may find this phone: Is your phone broken? Is your computer broken? Are you alright? Have you been shot? Stabbed? Is there reason for concern? Should I call 999?   -SH   9:28 am

**To: jwnumber9@gmail.com**

**From: s.holmes@summerfields.com**

**29/12/2014   5:28 PM**

Possible reasons you are not responding:

  * Alien abduction is real and prevalent in Chelmsford

  * Some cows heard you were talking about their texting abilities and they trampled you.  Hopefully you're recovering in hospital versus the alternative.

  * You have finally decided to seek help for your exclamation/emoji problem.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step, John.

  * A troupe of traveling gypsies convinced you to join them.  You are busy learning to belly dance.

  * All of your front teeth were knocked out during a vigorous match of rugby (your favourite tooth, #9, gone forever!).  The embarrassment and loss has rendered you catatonic.




SH

**Tuesday 30/12**

Since you aren’t responding to email, I’m returning to my preferred method.  -SH   2:36 am

Your family probably pointed out how odd I am after you told them about our time together.  -SH   10:38 am

I understand I am not like your other friends.  -SH   2:55 pm

I’m surprised it took this long for you to realise.  -SH   6:02 pm

Goodbye, John.  It’s been a pleasure.  -SH   8:45 pm

**New Year’s Eve**

_Sherlock, you there? 6:49 pm_

_It’s NOT what you thought, I want to talk to you! 6:53 pm   _

_Please, Sherlock_ [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922352674)  _6:58 pm_

_That probably doesn’t help my case, does it? 7:04 pm_

No.  -SH   7:05 pm

_I’m so sorry!  Please let me explain. 7:09 pm_

Go on.  -SH   7:11 pm

_Just as I was reading your texts Saturday evening, I heard my Dad shouting.  I went out into the hall, where my Mum was crying and Harry was shouting back at Dad. 7:17 pm_

_It took me a moment to figure out what was going on, I’m not a genius like you : ) 7:24 pm_

_Anyway, I guess Harry had snuck a girl in her room and Dad caught them snogging. Harry was saying that she’s a lesbian and my Dad said all kinds of rude things to her. 7:32 pm_

_They told me to stay in my room, but of course I couldn’t help but listen at the door.  Next thing I knew, my Aunt Jan was at my door and said I was coming to her house for the next couple of days while they “worked things out.” 7:39 pm_

_I was an idiot and forgot my phone and I realised it right when we drove off, but she wouldn’t go back.  Her computer was broken, so I couldn’t send an email and I only have your mobile number in my contacts list, so I couldn’t get to it. 7:46 pm_

_Say something. 7:58 pm_

It sounds rather unpleasant.  -SH   8:00 pm

_I just got back after 3 days at my Aunt’s house and you could cut the tension with a knife.  Dad is drunk, Mum’s eyes are all red and puffy.  I haven’t seen Harry, but there’s loud music coming from her room.  What a great way to end the year, huh? 8:08 pm_

It would be convenient if you lived closer.  -SH   8:35 pm

_I know!  This is terrible, I had much more fun at your house.  Are your parents having a party tonight? 8:43 pm_

Thanking all that is holy, no.  My parents have gone out to a soiree and Mycroft is with his girlfriend.  -SH   8:48 pm

_They left you alone on New Year’s? 9:00 pm_

After much begging and whinging on my part, yes.  -SH   9:04 pm

_I’ll probably just stay up here in my room and watch telly or something.  We’re a sad couple of sods. 9:11 pm_

I’d rather be talking to you than be at a stupid party.  -SH   9:25 pm

_So you’re not angry with me? 9:32 pm_

I was never angry with you.  My presumptions were based on past experiences.   -SH   9:34 pm

_Those people were stupid. 9:40 pm_

Nearly everyone is.  -SH   9:42 pm

_Compared to you! 9:47 pm_

_I was thinking- Spring term doesn't start back until 5/1 for me, how about you? 9:58 pm_

7/1, but how does that require thought?  -SH   10:01 pm

_Oh, shut it.  I was thinking maybe we could meet up again this weekend? 10:09 pm_

I would be amenable.  -SH   10:12 pm

_I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to come to mine.  But I’m pretty sure my parents would be happy to have me out of the house again. 10:18 pm_

I will ask tomorrow, but I’m sure my mother will be happy to have you visit again.  -SH   10:22 pm

_I got some money for Christmas, so I can use that for the train. 10:28 pm_

I could send a driver.  -SH   10:30 pm

_Are you serious?  I know that guy drove us to the train station but he drives you all the time? 10:38 pm_

His occupation is as a Driver, so yes.  -SH   10:40 pm

 _Wow.  Um, yeah, if you’re sure it’s okay, that would be brilliant!_ [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922416429) _10:51 pm_

John…   -SH   10:53 pm

_The microscope one was just for you, Mr. Scientist! 11:03 pm_

<http://deliberateink.com/response-to-an-exclamation-point-addict/>   -SH   11:06 pm

 _!!!!!!!!!!_ [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922475449) _!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11:22 pm_

[Emoji Addiction-Public Service Announcement](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyIhx3dlets)   Also a HUGE problem in the UK.  -SH   11:26 pm

_ha ha, that’s brilliant!  You always make me laugh. 11:30 pm_

_Seriously, I’m really glad I met you this year.  All because of a stupid school assignment, who’d’ve thought? 11:36 pm_

It is a rare occasion indeed when I am grateful for anything which is school mandated.  -SH   11:38 pm

_My mum just came in and said I have to go downstairs, because she wants us to ring in the new year as a family.  I’m taking the phone with me. 11:41 pm_

_Remember the whole “feigned cheer” conversation? 11:45 pm_

Come now, John.  Be a good lad and put on a fake smile.  -SH   11:46 pm

Social conventions are tiresome.  -SH   11:47 pm

 _Happy New Year, Sherlock!_ [{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922525004)    _11:52 pm_

_I had to get in a few more before the clock strikes.  My New Year’s resolution is to work on my “addiction.” 11:55pm_

A lofty goal and one which I will gladly encourage you in.  -SH   11:57 pm

Happy New Year, John  -SH   11:58 pm  

[{x}](http://fabfandomista.tumblr.com/post/105922598044)  -SH   12:00 am

 

**Author's Note:**

> *Hopefully ya'll know that a female cow is called a sow
> 
> It was difficult for me to write realistically because I have never been: (1) a boy (2) a 12 year old boy (3) a 12 year old British boy or (4) a genius. In my mind, they’re both mature for their age, Sherlock because of his intellect and John because he has had to deal with family issues. Besides, in television shows with kids and teenagers, they always speak at levels way above how they would speak in reality : )
> 
> Adult Sherlock has many walls built up when it comes to new relationships. However, I believe this was a gradual process so he would be more open to a new person. Also, when you are writing a somewhat anonymous person that you don't expect to ever meet, you are more likely to let your guard down. He tries to scare John off a bit at first, but it doesn’t work. Neither boy is living in a perfect situation, but at least John has other people around. Sherlock is very isolated and harassed frequently by the other students. Sherlock’s correspondences are longer because he is wanting to connect with someone, whether or not he realizes it. Also, he has so much in that beautiful brain of his and this is a perfect outlet.
> 
> Just a little insight to my thought process...
> 
> Thanks so much for the comments and kudos! Ya'll just don't know how much it means to a newbie, my little heart goes aflutter every time I get an email notification and it makes my day : )


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